The living dead.

These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country.

1. My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

3. Dear School : Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.


4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

8. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

9. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. (So Irving is transexual ?)

10. Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

11. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

12. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

13. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat,her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

14. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.